did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
