Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
