So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
