piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize