I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
