I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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