maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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