He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
