haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
