hotel room ftw
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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