what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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