something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
