whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize