What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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