so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
