I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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