When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
