OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
