Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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