dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
