a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
