remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
