I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
