Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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