I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
