i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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