The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
