Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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