I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
