no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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