Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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