Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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