I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
