You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
