I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
