and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
