I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
