Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
