They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize