Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
