How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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