Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize