Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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