And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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