You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
