maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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