If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
