who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Four minutes until I can fart!
it was like eating out sand paper
is wine microwaveable?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize