That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
