Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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