Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?

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(925): View more from California

I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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(434): View more from Virginia

we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday

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(661): View more from California

Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience

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(315): View more from New York

Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.

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