is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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