cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
