You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
