I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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