Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
