Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
