I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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