man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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