I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize